What Now?
by Sodium Slug
Summary: JK Rowling struggles with inspiration for the final book.


**A/N:** Please be aware that while it was edited later in the day, most of this was written at 4:00 am. But hopefully that isn't a bad thing...

Also, fun is made of a few fanfiction themes. And I suppose I should tell you about the couple paragraphs of minor slash... And no, not Harry / Voldemort slash.

**...What Now?**

_JK Rowling struggles with inspiration for the final book._

JK Rowling sat down at her computer. She pulled the keyboard towards herself and cracked her knuckles. Word was already open on her screen, and all her headings were typed. In fact, she was halfway through the book already.

She set her fingers carefully onto the keys... and stopped.

She had no idea what to write next.

The terrible truth that she should have decided exactly how Voldemort would be defeated long ago began to sink in with a vengeance. For even through writing the final book of the series, JK Rowling had no idea how it would end.

'Shit,' she thought. 'Why now? Why, after all these years of brilliant writing does my brain choose now to have a breakdown?'

So far, she had Harry and Voldemort face to face for the final showdown. Hermione and Ron were by his sides, and he was ready as he'd ever be.

Shrugging, she began to type.

"_At last we meet," cackled Voldemort upon seeing the Golden Trio. "I've been waiting a long time for this." He laughed evilly pointed his wand at Harry's head. "AVADA KA—"_

"_Oh no you don't!" cried Ron, leaping in front of Harry. "Don't think that's all it will take! You'll have to go through me first!"_

_And so, Ron was killed in Harry's place. _

A tear fell from JK Rowling's eye. 'Well, that's no good,' she thought. Sighing, she selected all that she'd just typed and quickly deleted it.

Tea! That was it. She needed a cup of tea to help her concentration.

Getting the tea didn't take anywhere near enough time in her opinion. When she'd returned to her desk, she was just as uninspired as she'd been before.

But hell, she had to write something! Her deadline was in a week, after all.

"_At last we meet," cackled Voldemort upon seeing the Golden Trio. "I've been waiting a long time for this."_

"_You just think that!" cried Harry. "But that's because you haven't seen... my secret weapon!"_

_Before Voldemort could respond, there was a loud bang and suddenly Draco Malfoy was standing next to Harry, grinning. _

_Voldemort blinked in surprise. He was even more surprised when the blond boy leaned toward Harry and kissed him. So surprised, in fact, that he suffered a stroke and died on the spot. _

_Harry and Malfoy didn't even notice. _

_But Hermione and Ron sure did. After a few brief moments of celebration though, alarm set in. _

"_Harry, what are you _doing?"_ asked Hermione, placing an arm cautiously on Harry's shoulder. _

_Harry laughed. "You don't think I actually broke up with Ginny because I was concerned for her safety did you?" he asked with a snort. "As if one person's safety really matters in the bigger picture."_

_He had scarcely finished speaking the words when Ron punched his lights out. "You hurt my sister... and for nothing!" he yelled._

_Malfoy, in turn, punched Ron with a "no one punches my boyfriend and gets away with it!" In a few seconds, the entire group was rolling around on the ground trying to kill one another. _

This was the point where JK Rowling had to stop typing. She was laughing so hard that she couldn't find the keys.

"I doubt even all those Harry / Draco shippers out there would accept that ending," she giggled aloud.

The text was deleted, and she began to try again.

"_At last we meet," cackled Voldemort upon seeing the Golden Trio. "I've been waiting a long time for this."_

"_As if you would actually win, foo," muttered Harry, and even though Voldemort had taken his wand, somehow found the power with himself to suddenly do wandless magic. _

"_AVADA KADAVRA!" he cried. _

_Voldemort dropped dead. _

She blinked and stared at what she'd just written. 'Gotta cut back on the fanfiction reading, I guess,' she thought.

"_At last we meet," cackled Voldemort upon seeing the Golden Trio. "I've been waiting a long time for this."_

"_Very nice," Hermione deadpanned. "Now on the count of three..."_

_One... two... three! SHOOT HIM!" Ron, Harry, and Hermione all promptly pulled machine guns out from behind their backs and blasted the dark wizard to a pulp._

"Oh god, the Potter Puppet Pals too," she moaned. "Why can't any of these ideas be _original??_" Promptly, she decided to cut herself off from the internet throughout the entire length of her next series.

The Puppet Pals reference was deleted, and effort resumed. Sort of.

"_At last we meet," cackled Voldemort upon seeing the Golden Trio. "I've been waiting a long time for this." He laughed evilly pointed his wand at Harry's head. But before anyone could react, everything suddenly went white... and then black. _

_For you see, in a completely unrelated incident, somebody had decided to drop an atomic bomb on Europe, effectively killing Voldemort... and everyone else on the continent. _

_Never mind that an atomic bomb isn't big enough to kill off an entire continent. Come on, don't expect me to make sense right now! My inspiration is gone! gbhvtyh_

She banged her head on the keyboard.

_tyggbyth gbvht bhngy_

Bang! Bang! Bang!

That was it! She was getting tired and it was getting late. One more attempt and then it would be off to bed with her. The book could sit another day, surely.

"_At last we meet," cackled Voldemort upon seeing the Golden Trio. "I've been waiting a long time for this."_

"_Hey Voldie, think fast," yelled Hermione from the side as she lobbed a giant coconut at his head, knocking it clean off his shoulders. _

"_Hey!" he cried in protest. _

JK Rowling shut her eyes tightly, willing something to come to her. But nothing did. So she closed down her computer and headed off to bed.

It was the middle of the night when she woke up, inspired. 'I've got just the thing that ties everything together!' she thought, excited. Leaping from her bed, she rushed back to her computer and turned it back on.

Smiling, she began to type.

**A/N:** And we get to find out what she typed in less than a week! excited Aaaanyway. So obviously, there are several things I need to say in the way of disclaimers.

1. Duh, I'm not JK Rowling, nor do I to actually know everything about her writing techniques. I'm not a stalker! Seriously!

2. I also don't own Potter Puppet Pals. :heart: They're ingrained into my brains, but I really don't think that counts.

3. The Harry / Draco bit... My friend told me about a story she read where Draco and Harry kissed, and Dumbledore had a heart attack. I have not read this story, nor do I know who wrote it. If anyone knows, _please _tell me! Both so I can read it and so that I can properly acknowledge whoever did write it.

So yeah. Please review. I'd say R&R, but personally I don't understand why people stick that at the ends of their stories... It means READ and review. If someone's at the end of your story, they've probably already read it. Not to go off on a tangent or... anything like that...


End file.
